Welcome to One Man's Rants
People Are Stupid
I'm just putting forward my hypothesis that people are stupid!!! I don't
mean that they have little intelligence, but lack common sense. Do you doubt me?
You are probably thinking, not all people are stupid! Okay, most of them are.
Here is the proof that you've been waiting for. Elevator buttons. How many times does one
have to press it to make it come. If it's lit, it's coming. You don't have to keep hitting it
over and over again. It doesn't make it come any faster! Same thing goes for crosswalk
buttons. Once or twice will do, not infinity. Still don't believe it? How many times
do you see dorks on the freeway weaving through traffic at 80+ miles per hour? How many of
them wait until the last possible second to get to their exit? Is it going to kill them to miss
the damn exit? No, but it might kill someone else!
You're probably thinking, okay, he's got a point, but I still don't believe it. Okay, how's this:
ever see an idiot cut off a semi-truck and then slam on the brakes? Wasn't physics a required course in
high school? What does your car weigh? On average, about a ton or so. How much can a semi way? Try
five times that! If your car takes 150+ feet to stop from 55 mile per hour, what is the braking distance
of a vehicle that weights many times that? A lot more than 150 feet. Oh, big deal you say. Try the old
force equals mass times acceleration idea. You cut off the truck and hit your brakes...you're as good
as dead. But hey, at least you may get to your exit!
All right, here's some more: what are people thinking when they spend much dollars for
things their car doesn't need. I'm talking neon! Loud exhaust systems! For what are these things? Wouldn't
be worth the money to actually get a better car? Oh wait, that's just common sense, can't have that in
I would type more now, but hey...I've got some other things to finish.
Isn't it ironic that Congress wants to cut funds to the poor (what they call "perks")
yet will not cut their own perks. No one will touch those, but legislation to cut welfare would
be passed faster than a burrito dipped in vaseline. (paraphrased from Dennis Miller)
Evidence of Stupidity
Heard after floods in Northern California:
Reporter, asking an engineer "How did it flood?"
Engineer, "Too much water."
From the files on Dan Quayle:
"I'm in favor of limiting the terms of members of Congress, especially those members
in the house and those members in the Senate."
We Live in a Society People!!!
What is wrong with people? Where has courtesy gone? Well, here are some simple rules to follow in everyday life:
- Let people get OFF the elevator before you get ON the elevator!
- If you have a door that will close loudly by itself, pull the door with the handle (it's that thing you turn) so that it doesn't slam shut!
- Look behind you before you close the door so that you make sure it doesn't hit anyone
- When you call someone at three-fifteen in the morning and get the wrong number, don't just say, "Oh, this isn't Charlene?" Click. Say, I'm very sorry to have pestered you. I am an assface
- Think before you turn on your stereo at midnight, I don't want to hear the bassline to "Baby Got Back" dit that ever enter your skull?
- If you want to have a fight (verbal), that's fine. Just don't do it at 2 in the morning on Sunday. Close the window. I don't want to hear it, okay.
- If you have more than ten items and don't have cash, DON'T GET IN THE LINE THAT SAYS TEN ITEMS OR LESS, CASH ONLY
- You males out there, especially business men who shake hands a lot, remember to WASH YOUR HANDS after you touch the little guy and finish your business. ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE TO SQUAT ON THE PORCELAIN THING, OKAY
- Don't make right hand turns from the far left lane, and vice versa
Last updated: 12/8/96
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